Friday, March 20, 2015

A little bit about everything! A blog about the past couple of weeks

Hi everyone! I am so sorry I have been offline for almost two weeks! I have been so busy!

 I am now a wellness advocate for dōTERRA essential oils and I have been busy sharing my stories!! If you haven't heard of them yet, you're missing out! Please email me at or find my group on Facebook and add yourself (, if you're interested in changing your health care for a healthier solution. A healthier way to clean your house, rid your child(ren) of pain and discomfort, yourself of pain and discomfort, and just over all better health! Below is a picture of the kit I purchased! I'd love to tell you more about them! 


Clare has been so active! She is a feisty  almost 15 month old. She loves to play with everything but her toys! However, she does love her baby doll! She loves it like it is her own! I know she's ready to be a big sister when the time comes! She loves on her cousin like he belongs to her! Whenever we see him she kisses him and sings to him and comforts him (and cries with him). 

Oh, ya know just wearing my aunties nursing cover carrying my baby around in it. Time to get her her own Ergo! ;) 
Lovin' on her cousin!

She has also been eating a more foods! We went through a food strike there for a couple of months where is was a hot dog, Mac and cheese, quesadillas, cheese (Babybel) and yogurt. Cheese and yogurt are are our go to foods! I need her/want her to eat something I will either dip it in yogurt, add it to yogurt or slather it in cheese!

We have graduated to homemade Mac and cheese with peas and carrots! She has started to love strawberries with a tiny bit of sugar. She has tried salmon and loved it, but the next time I fed it to her she wouldn't eat it...Fathom that!! 

I am still on my pumping journey, pumping one time per day. Weaning has been an extremely emotional journey. I am ready to be done but I'm holding on to my last pump for dear life! I pump after Clare goes to bed and that is her bottle for the next morning. Other than that she gets two bottles of frozen breastmilk a day, sometimes only one. I'm almost 15 months pp. for all you mama's out there who breastfeed or pump, what an amazing journey it is and a huge sacrifice you make! 

Spring is finally starting to show it's self around here. There were a couple of nice days this past weekend and my husband and I took Clare to the zoo! She had a blast! She LOVES walking around. Needless to say she slept for 3 hours! 

Yesterday, March 19th my husband and I celebrated 12 years being together. It's crazy to think that 12 years ago he asked me to be his girlfriend. Now we are married, with an amazing little family! I'm so excited to see what the future has in store for us! He surprised me last night and brought me flowers!!

I hope I can continue to share my life's journey with all of you! I'm so sorry I have been MIA and am going to try really hard to post every day or every other Day! 

Friday, March 6, 2015

Let the real weaning begin

Starting Friday March 6th I decided it was time to drop to 1ppd and finally end my pumping journey. My emotions are running wild, I am having major mood swings, (it doesn't help that aunt Fllow is on her way) and I am having crying bouts... I am an emotional mess. 

I never, ever thought weaning from a pump would be this hard. It is a machcine.. It is not a human.. It's not like it has talked to me and made me feel good by any means. But if you think about it metaphorically it has done all of those things. It has made me feel like an AMAZING mommy... It has helped me produce milk not only for my beautifully strong daughter but for 13 other babies! Although it didn't physically talk to my, it has cheered me on through bad days, "Never quit on a bad day!" If you mama's reading this right now take one thing from my blog I hope that it is that! Don't ever decided you're going to quit if you're having a bad day. I can't stress that enough. The next day could get a lot better! 

Sometimes I looked forward to my time with my pump... The fact that it didn't talk back at me, didn't judge me... It didn't criticize me or tell me I was doing something wrong. It sang the same tune every single time I plugged it in and turned it on for the 20-45 minutes I sat with it. "Your an amazing mama," is what I always thought it was saying. :)

It has become a part of my daily routine. It has become a part of me... 

I know that the real reason I am having such a hard time quitting is because I hate change. I have a horrible time dealing with it. I like my same shit different day routine. I don't like anything to change or I freak out internally and mentally. 

That's why when we go to a restaurant I always tend to order the same exact thing.. The fear of disappointment and being let down by a bad dish scares me.. I love food... So if I am going out to eat and don't like something, man what a horrible let down! 

Anyway... Weaning sucks.. Today is my third day of trying this out. My new schedule, for now will be pumping twice one day and once the next. I cannot physically go 24 hours.. Well I haven't tried. When I decided I would try to drop to one pump I made it 18 and 1/2 hours. By 18 hours my breasts were pretty full, my bra was digging into me... And maybe I just physiced myself in to thinking I couldn't go any longer. Personally the thought of a clog or mastitis is enough to scare anyone. 

Now, to give some advice, I wouldn't exactly recommend dropping to one pump cold turkey. You could end up with major clogs or mastitis. I know my body. I know that it can hold up to 23 oz between my two breasts. So I probably could go 24 hours easily as I am only pumping 10-12oz between two pumps. I've always just dropped a pump. I never added a 1/2 hour or an hour between until that pump was just gone. I am an all or nothing kind of person and deal with the consequences later. 

Last night I slept horrible. A combination between not pumping before bed, Clare waking up at 2:30am because her teeth were bothering her, the time change and it's Monday so back to work. I didn't fall back asleep until almost 5am. :(

I will keep you ladies updated on my progress with weaning. How I am feeling, how things contined to get better... Hopefully. It always takes me a good couple of days to get used to change. But once I do change and accept it things do get better. 

I am looking forward to sleeping in a little longer, having my nights back so I can spend more time with Anthony and Clare. Not worry about pumping on our vacation to Florida coming up!! That trip is what is really helping me wean. I do not want to drag my pump down there. 

Thanks for your continued support by reading my blog. My reason for writing this blog to to share my experiences as a mother. If I only touch one mommy out there my mission is complete. I guess it's the teacher in me. :)

The reason I have pumped for 14+ months 

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

The day I delivered Clare Louise

                                                    December 26th, 2013 3:15pm 
                                                              Induction day

Hubs and I are making sure we have everything we need.. All four bags. To be honest we looked like we belonged in a Vera Bradley catalog (that was said to us in the hospital :-D) . I had a diaper bag, an over night bag for me and hubs and an extra bag for goodies from the hospital (diapers, those huge, lovely pads and mesh underwear and whatever else may come while we are there). 

We went to Panera, before heading to the hospital to have my last meal before being induced. I would not be able to eat any solid foods once they started giving me pitocin. I was so anxious and nervous. Would I be able to make it x amount of hours without eating anything? (I get really light headed if I don't eat for long periods of time, so I was worried about that.) Anxious to not have to test my blood anymore (although they did do it in the hospital a dozen more times before I was discharged.) 

We arrived at Troy Beaumont at promptly 4pm. We sat in the waiting room for about 20-30 minutes waiting to be called. We are surrounded by family and friends waiting to meet their new grandchild, niece or nephew, best friends baby. That was going to be our families soon! Waiting to meet our little peanut! 

4:30 someone came over and said, "We normally have a lot of babies born on Christmas Day but it seems like a lot of mommies and babies decided to wait until the day after to come! All of our rooms are full of moms who naturally went into labor. Here are 2 $5 coupons for the cafeteria downstairs. Come back around 6pm. Sorry for the wait."

I was so disappointed. I was just ready to be in a room, in a bed and getting the show on the road. Instead we got back on the elevator and walked what seemed like a mile to the cafeteria. I can't remember what we ate but it wasn't very good. We thankfully had an iPad and we were able to play backgammon while we waited. We played quite a few games. 

6pm and we decide to head back upstairs. We check in and Yay!! They're ready for us. We collected all of our bags and headed in to get checked in. 

In walks a nurse and I was shocked! I knew her!! She was one of my old high school friend's sister!! We said hello and hugged. I couldn't believe she was going to check me in! What a crazy experience. I was closed and MAYBE 30% effaced (I still have no idea exactly what that means) I just know that our little peanut wasn't ready to come on her own! 

After getting checked in we finally were into a room by.. Ehhh 8:30-9pm. I had a nurse come in and greet me with a needle to put an IV in for pain killers, antibiotics and pitocin. It hurt so bad! (The next day a nurse told me the IV was put in incorrectly and she replaced it with a new one in my hand... Few!) 

Everyone was so excited that the day was finally here! Anthony's parents came up to visit us and help us get settled in. It was nice to see friendly faces and as always there to help with whatever we need!  

11:30pm Since I was no where near ready for labor instead of starting pitocin they gave me the miso pill (which is meant to soften the cervix) accompanied by a nice sleeping aide to help me get some rest. A nurse would be back around 2 To test my blood. Since they hadn't given me pitocin yet I was able to eat the next morning. 

Hubs was so amazing. He slept on the little bench and checked on me often. 

Friday morning rolled around and I really didn't feel any type of labor happening, although the monitor said differently. I was having tiny contractions. Instead of starting the pitocin they decided to do a balloon. I believe that was to help me dilate . A nurse came to check on it every couple of hours. It took all day long. 

5:30pm rolled around and there was a doctor change. Dr. Herringa was the on call doctor for the weekend. I had seen her a couple times during my pregnancy. She was new to the practice, but I knew from the few times I saw her I was in great hands.

She came in to check my "balloon" and it came right out! She was surprised it hadn't already been pulled out. I was a little disappointed because that meant they could have already started the pitocin. But it is what it is. 

Later that night my parents and my grandma came to visit! It was nice to see them! They were asking how I was feeling, what's the update? My grandma couldn't figure out why I was in the hospital and why the baby still wasn't here. Back when she had her kids I'm not sure if they even had them in a hospital. :) 

So they hooked me up to the pitocin later that night and by early am (7ish) Saturday morning I was in heavy labor. I was having horrible pains in my rear. I felt constipated. It was a HORRIBLE feeling along with contractions. They were able to relieve me thankfully. A couple hours later the anesthesiologist came in to give me my epidural and I was a little annoyed because he started talking to my husband about FOOTBALL! I assume this was to distract me?? Lol I guess it did. It peeved me off and I wasn't thinking about the huge needle being injected into my back. 

By now I was having, "hold on to the side of the bed, squeeze my husband's hand off" contractions. But I wasn't feeling them in my abdomen I was feeling them in the lower behind area. It was unbelievable pain that the epidural couldn't take away. They even tried another type of pain medication but that didn't really work. 11:10am (I assume that's what time it was) I looked at my husband and said,"I feel like I need to push NOW! I think I need to start pushing... I NEED TO PUSH NOW!" And it was like Dr. Heeringa and I were on the same wave length because in she walks. It happened SO fast. 

I remember pushing, I had my eyes closed and thinking... Just push as hard as you can! This baby is coming right now! Don't think about whatever pain you can feel. I remember how calm Dr. Heeringa was. What an amazing coach she was. And best of all I remember my husband, up by my side in awe, telling me how amazing I was doing, actually participating in the birth of our little girl. (Before the birth of Clare, Anthony was extremely nervous about the entire process. He was positive he wouldn't be able to watch her come out. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to cut the umbilical cord.) Anthony saw our baby come out and cut the umbilical cord! He was my rock! He stood by me every single second of the 38 hours we were in that hospital until our Little Girl came out! 

They put Clare on my chest and I was in awe and shock. I couldn't believe I had just pushed this little tiny human out of me! 

The experience was amazing. It was NOTHING like what you see in the movies. (What ever is?) There was just my husband, the Dr. And two nurses there ready for when Clare came out. The lights were dimmed and only the overhead light was on. 

I remember during the time I was pushing the phone rang! I decided it better I not answer it since I was a little busy at the moment. 20 minutes later I believe they called Anthony's phone. It was my parents, my sister, Anthony's parents, my 98 year old grandma (who is now 99), my Aunt Emma, and my cousin's Bob and Kathleen. The lady that called for them told them, "Normally when they don't answer the phone that means they're having the baby!" 

So here she was, this beautiful little 6# 13oz, 19 1/2" Angel. Clare Louise DiTrapani

As soon as they were finished getting Clare all cleaned up and we tried breastfeeding once, they allowed everyone in. It was extremely overwhelming but I think I was in such disbelief that I barely remember how I felt. Pictured below are some of the family and friends that came to visit us in the hospital. We will be forever grateful for you being at such an emotional time in our lives with us. 

My Cousins Kathleen and Bob drove down with my Aunt Emma to pick up my Grandma just in time for Clare to arrive! What an amazing day that was! Enjoy the pictures below! 

This is a picture of four generations. From left to right: My mother, my grandmother, Clare and Me. 

Proud grandparents, Anthony's mother, father and Clare. 

Proud Grandpa (my father) and sleeping Clare 

Proud Auntie Michelle! (My Sister) 

Proud aunt and uncle's From Left to right: Dominic, Joe, Nicolas (Anthony's brothers) and Monica (our sister in law, Joe's wife) 

    My aunt Emma! 

    My cousin Kathleen! 
   Anthony's grandma 

   Our friend Kathryn! 

   Our friend Ryan! 

   Clare and her Great Grandma Rose!

   Daddy in awe! 
   Mommy snuggles! 

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Spinach, mushroom, and caramelized onion pasta with a cream sauce!

So since lent started I've had to get creative with no meat on Fridays. We had my in laws over for dinner this past Friday and that means cooking for 8 people. I have to say over the past 12 years I have learned how to cook for a large number of people who eat a large portion of food! So really I'm normally cooking for at least 10-12 people. Haha 

I was sick of the same old same old so I went to pinterest (of course) to find something I could make. I wasn't finding anything that caught my eye so I just typed in veggies. This delicious recipe for a creaming spinach, mushroom and caramelized onion dish popped up. So I thought, why not add it to pasta!! 

So I did!! 

I ended up doubling the vegetable portion and tripling the sauce portion. I ended up using 3 pounds of pasta and that was just enough for us. I had leftovers for lunch the next day.

I recipe called for three onions. I used about 5 huge onions because I know onions always shrink down to just about nothing, and caramelized onions are so good! called for 10-15 mushrooms. I used about 5 10oz packs of pre cut mushrooms. It was a good amount. It called for 3 cups of spinach. I just threw in as much as I wanted. I probably would add even more next time because spinach also shrinks down a lot. 

The sauce called for 1/4 cup of milk, 1/3 cup of heavy cream, 1/2 cup of Parmesan cheese and a 1/4 tsp of salt. I tripled this sauce. Next time I might 4x it. 

To give you a heads up it does take a little bit longer to caramelize onions, about 30 minutes total. We didn't end up eating until about 8pm, so I would suggest starting earlier than I did. But when your husband works until 6:45 and you have a 14m old running around it doesn't always work out that way! 

But some of the complements I heard were, "wow, I'd order this in a restaurant!" "This was worth the wait!" "Wow, this is delicious!" I was cooking for some people who have high expectations and who are picky. So I'd say this recipe will be added to my cook book and be a norm in our family!! 

Here is the original recipe, I added pasta!